I am a firm believer that you become a mom when you hold your child. Some people believe you become a mom at different times, when you find out your pregnant, when you see an ultrasound. Whenever you believe you become a mom is right, but when you become a mom, you are no where near being a complete mom.
Motherhood is a series of lessons that you learn from your kids about yourself, I believe. Yesterday, Ward taught me a very valuable lesson in motherhood. He taught me how to hold yourself together on the outside while on the inside you are completely and utterly falling apart.
Yesterday, as Ward seized in my arms, I asked for help and thankfully, was in the doctor’s office, so help was readily available. All through this time, I was thinking and praying for my sweet boy and trying to keep myself together at the same time. I was also comforting him and holding him. It was all very trying.
Today, the doctor called to check on Ward. During our conversation, she told me how well I held myself together. REALLY!? I don’t remember being composed at all. I just told her that on the inside I wasn’t composed at all.
That’s when I realized. That’s what moms do. They stay strong on the outside even when their heart is breaking inside. Now, I know what my mom went through. Now, I know what my friends who are moms go through. It’s hard, it’s exhausting, but it’s worth it for the love that you receive in return.