Mom hurts.

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I have always been compassionate. I have always especially been drawn to helping children. But now, after having my own children, things seem to just affect me more. As a teacher, I feel that this helps me. I think to myself, “How would I feel if this was my child?” (Sometimes, the answer is I would be mortified and they would be getting spanked!) As a person, this has affected me in ways I never imagined. When I hear about other children being hurt, abused, sick, or any situation that could be my child, I just hurt. Like almost a physical, sickening feeling. You always put your child into that situation. It could be my child in the emergency room for RSV today. It could be my child being diagnosed with Leukemia last night. It could have been my child, if not placed with Ken and I, that could have had multiple broken bones from abuse. Things just hurt more as a Mom. So, to all you Moms out there(and Dads too), I ask you to just stop where you are and pray for someone else’s children. If you’re like me, you pray for your children daily. I pray for the Ws’ safety, their character, this health, their life ahead of them, but I hardly ever stop to pray for someone else’s child. As a mom, I can imagine that no matter whose child you choose to pray for, their is something that is hurting them, either the child or the mother. I think it’s time we start praying more for other moms as well! Well, because sometimes, no one knows it, but Mom is hurting.

Dear Ward,

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Dear Ward,

Today is the day that you turn one. I can’t believe that 365 days ago today, your daddy and I were heading to Cartersville to meet you. I can’t believe that it’s been 8,760 hours since I first heard you cry. I have heard you cry so many more times since then, but thankfully, I have been able to learn how to soothe most of your cries. It has been 525,600 minutes since I held you for the first time. That was the best/most exciting/most terrifying moment of my life. It was wonderful because in that moment, I loved you more than my heart could stand, but it was terrifying because you could have been taken away from me at any minute. You see, your birthmom was the one who held all of the power at that point. At any second if she decided she wanted to keep you and raise you as her own, she could have. I would have admired her in that, but good Golly I am glad she allowed us to have the honor to raise you. I can’t imagine life without you, Pal. I know that one year ago, I had a life without you, but now, I can’t remember it, or if I do remember it, it seems so pointless. Ward, you were not only my child. You have been my saving grace, my bright spot, my way to pass time, my source of constant happiness, and last and not least, you have shown me a physical representation of God’s faithfulness and hope. When you were five days old, I found out that I was having another baby(brother). At first I was worried that having another baby would cause you to not be my “baby” any longer. Since having our brother, I have realized that you and he will always be my babies, no matter what age you are. Today is your celebration day, Pal, but it is a day I will always celebrate. This day is more important to me than my own birthday(which means a lot) because this is the day that you made me a Mom. I love you so much, Dubby!

Love, Mama