Ward versus Walker

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No, no. They aren’t wrestling or fighting each other yet. In fact, Ward only notices that Walker is even around about 1/3 of the time. The other times, he is just being his normal wide open self and notices nothing except what he wants to get his hands on.

No, since we got home, my human nature has been comparing Ward and Walker. Of course, they have different eyes, different noses, Walker has more hair, you know, the typical physical stuff that you notice right away. As they grow, we will notice their personality differences. One might be wild, the other calm. One might be loud, the other quiet. I will most likely be comparing their differences for the rest of their lives. I will also appreciate their differences for the rest of their lives as well.

Last night, I was thinking about one major difference between them that amazes me. I was looking at Walker and thinking “Wow. He was inside of my body, and now, he is here. How awesome!” Then, when I was feeding Ward this morning and he was looking up at me, talking, all I could think was “Wow. He was inside someone else’s body, but now, he is mine. How awesome!” So even with that huge difference between the two, both are SO awesome to consider. I am thankful for pregnancy and adoption. I did things in different ways, but both gave me my two sweet baby boys and I couldn’t be more thankful.

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And the panic sets in.

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No, I am not panicked about going through labor. No, I am not panicked about having two babies under 9 months old. No, I am not panicked about my sweet little one not being my baby anymore.

Yesterday, pure panic set in when I realized what a huge responsibility Ken and I have with raising two children in this huge crazy world.

Y’all that’s a big deal. It terrifies me. I know people do it everyday. Some people do it really, really well. I have a few role models that I look to when I think about parenting. I hope that I can raise my children like they do, but they struggle too.

I really just wish there was a manual that said this is what you need to do when….

I need to know what to do when my kid(or kids) throw a temper tantrum in the middle of a crowded restaurant but I really want to keep eating my delicious meal. (I hope they never interrupt my chicken nachos at Barberitos or I’m gonna be real mad.)

I need to know how to teach them to use the bathroom only in the bathroom.

I need to know what to do when they’re being picked on at school or having friend drama on the baseball team.

I need to know what to do when they get mad at each other and one or both end up injuring the other.

I need to know what to do when they break a window, or a vase, or a ceiling fan, or whatever else they might(will) break.

I need to know what to do the first time they go out on a date.

I need to know what to do when they get their hearts broken. (I probably will not have very nice things to think about the girl who did it.)

I need to know what to do when I have to drop them off at college.

I need to know how to teach them to respect all women. (I feel like Ken has this handled though with the way he respects all women.)

There are so many things that I need to know, especially since I will be raising boys, and you know, I wasn’t a boy…Right now, I am relying on prayer and my mom a lot, so I guess I could just keep doing that, plus watching others around me who are going before me and see how they handle things. It’s still scary though. I still think we all need a manual!