Guard your heart.

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guard your heart

Over the past few weeks, my mind has been so completely consumed by the thought of my sweet baby boy. Once you find out the reality of it all, you automatically can’t help but start fantasizing and becoming excited about your baby. However, I was reminded today of a good lesson from our caseworker. She told me I should still always “guard my heart.” Such good advice that we hear from such an early age. But is it always that easy?

Since hearing about being matched, visions of baby boy clothes and sweet little baby sounds have entered my mind. It’s all I can think of, it’s all I can focus on. So, now, I’m reminded I have to guard my heart, because anything can happen. But my heart already belongs to this baby. Of course, I realize that if this baby is not meant to be mine, then he will not be. But that’s hard. I am just at a spot now where the excitement is overtaken by fear. I know, I shouldn’t worry, but pray about everything. Trust me, I am praying with all that I have. My heart is on the line here. I want everyone out there to know this so maybe y’all can pray for me too? Pray that my anxiety is calmed, my fears cease. Pray that the birthmother is at total peace with her decision. Pray that she will know that Ken and I will love her baby just as much as she does. Pray that my heart won’t be broken. I am guarding my heart, but excitement takes over and I want to go ahead and give my heart to my sweet baby. Pray that I know the fine line between guarding and loving.

PS. Sorry for my rambling, I am a little out of mind right now. 🙂

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3 thoughts on “Guard your heart.

  1. carolebrett

    I had such a fear that the birth mother would change her mind that we didn’t pick up Lindsey until the 10th day after the birth mother had signed the papers and I knew she couldn’t change her mind. Even then her first few years of her life I worried something would go wrong. I guess I finally relaxed when she was about 13 and I decided if the birth mother tried to get her back, I would send her shopping with Lindsey for a bathing suit and I knew I was safe with keeping Lindsey. 🙂 jk But when you give birth to a baby, there is no guarantee that everything will be fine. Leslie lost her first baby to a stillbirth and that was really hard. Everything in life isn’t guaranteed 100% to happen the way we want it to,even for Christians, but it IS worth taking the chances. Especially when we know that God is in control and “He knows the plans he has for us.”
    I believe that God knows from the moment of conception who the baby is intended for. I know without a doubt that Lindsey was the baby God planned to be a part of our family. Just remember God is sovereign and you will get the baby He intends for you to have and I know that is what your heart desires.

    • Oh my goodness, Mrs. Carole, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear from someone who has gone through this experience. Thank you so much for reminding me of what I already know. His plans are greater than my own.

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