I’ve earned this!

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For the most part, our adoption process has been relatively easy. We started this journey in January, and are now going through the Homestudy process. For the past week, I have been cleaning my house from top to bottom, getting ready for the adoption consultant to come over to meet us and see the house where we will raise our baby. Tonight, at 5:30 is our homestudy. Well, now that isn’t the case. Our homestudy consultant called today to reschedule the homestudy because she has to go get a baby that the birthmother has revoked on, and deliver it back to the birthmom. (This is heartbreaking.) When the consultant, Sandra called to reschedule, I am sure she heard disappointment in my voice, so she offered to come tomorrow night at 5:30 instead. Thank GOODNESS, we don’t have to wait until after our beach trip! 

This seems like such a small blip in the big scheme of things, but for some reason, I was really disappointed. I even cried a little bit. I am sure it was just because I have been working myself so hard this week and expected it all to come to fruition today, but it stung! I woke up this morning SO ready and it wasn’t going to happen now. In the scheme of things, I have been doing so good being patient and understanding the long process, even when people expect us to just have a baby anytime now. When I called Ken, I told him, I “deserved” a little disappointment. Ken, in his wise ways, reminded me that I don’t deserve disappointment ever, and that just like with the rest of the punches we have had to roll with, we would also just roll with this one. Right on into tomorrow, 24 hours later than normal. I had to give in a little, when Ken also reminded me, that we could be the family who was having to give up their 3 day old because the birthmother has decided to raise it. That would be devastating, not disappointing.  

Having said all of that though, I am going to ask you to pray for me. Pray that I re-realize that this process is going to be long, but it also going to be so worth it. Also, pray for Ken. He needs it because sometimes I think I “deserve” to be disappointed. 🙂

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