Worry.

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I have this really bad habit of worrying. I know everyone worries, but I think my worrying problem is a bit worse than others. For example, when I haven’t heard from Ken in a couple of hours or so, I check the news websites to make sure the bank hasn’t been in a robbery. I wake up and check to make sure he(and Tebow) are still breathing sometimes. For some reason, I don’t feel the need to check on Chloe. 🙂 

Today, I was talking about my insane worrying in Sunday School, and my good friend, Jessica said she would start praying for me now for when our baby comes. It was a joke, but at the same time it is the truth. I have to pray for myself everyday to let some things go. Worrying is my number one sin I believe. With the amount of worrying I do, it really creates a hindrance in my spiritual life. Especially during really stressful times in my life, I don’t remember to stop and pray and because of this my worrying gets worse. With a baby, this is just going to be magnified! 

I am just asking any or all of you that read this post, to begin praying for me as well. I know that all moms are going to worry about their babies, but if you will just pray that my worry doesn’t get in the way of my life with God. If you can also pray that when I do get stressed and worried(which of course will happen, I’ll be a mom!) that I remember not to worry, but pray continuously. 

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Moses.

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All sorts of famous people were adopted. Steve Jobs, Marilyn Monroe, and Superman just to name a few. Even though we know all of these people were adopted, we don’t ever really think about what their life might have been like if they hadn’t been adopted by their now parents. 

Today at church, we talked about a story I have heard all of my life, but today it took on a completely different meaning. The story was the story of Moses, whose mother gave him up as an infant because the king had ordered all sons to be killed. Infanticide was rampant in these ages. Moses’s “birthmother” loved her son so much that she let him go. She put him in a basket and put him in the river. Amazingly, the Pharaoh’s daughter was the one to find him. Just by that one chance trip to the river, Moses’s life and the life of Pharaoh’s daughter were drastically changed.This is a story about a son who was supposed to be murdered but instead grew up to lead his people to freedom. He parted the Red Sea. He led his people through the wilderness, even when he didn’t think he had it in him. This is how adoption is. When I truly stop and think about the difference that we might make in our child’s life, it gives me chillbumps. Having said this, I am not discrediting our child’s birthmother. I am only saying that Ken and I are going to try our best to give our child all of the opportunities in this world. (Today, I was even thinking our child could be a Vanderbilt graduate. That’s the one SEC school neither Ken nor I would mind our child being a fan of.)

Along those same lines, think about your life. Imagine how different your life would be if you had not been adopted into God’s family. I know one thing, I make enough mistakes and act stupidly enough while being a child of His, that I don’t even want to imagine a life without His grace to rescue me. When we think through our lives, we know of times that without His help, we don’t know how we would have made it. My life was forever and drastically changed by God. That’s MY adoption story. Now, I get a chance to tell my baby their Earthly adoption story, but I also plan on introducing them to the love and hope of Jesus Christ so that they can be adopted by God just like their Mama and Daddy were!

  

Happy Mother’s Day! Part 2: Marmee

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Dear Little One,

     Today is Mother’s Day. I LOVE MOTHER’S DAY! It is so exciting to think about the year when I get to celebrate being a mother to my sweet little baby, which is YOU! J But that’s not the reason I love Mother’s Day so much. The reason why I love Mother’s Day so much is because that’s the day when I get to show your Marmee how much I love and appreciate her. (Your Marmee is my Mama. J )

          Whenever I think about patience, I think about my Mama. Even when she had to deal with her strongwilled only child, she never wavered. Well, sometimes she did, but then I knew I had gone too far and I immediately stopped whining or being annoying. Her exact words after she had heard too much were usually “Not another word.”.  So there was not another word. Go ahead and learn that phrase because eventually, probably in about 12 or 13 years you will hear this phrase from me as well.

          When I think about sacrifice, I think about my Mama. She would do almost anything in this world to make me happy, even if she had to give up something that she really wanted to do. I think back to all of the times that she and Standaddy drove to all of my swim meets, band concerts, softball games, knowing that there were many other things that she could have been doing or maybe even wanted to be doing, but instead she put herself aside to be there for me. For a while, she didn’t feel very good and no doctor could figure out why she didn’t feel good. They ran so many tests and just couldn’t give her a true diagnosis. That never stopped her from taking me shopping for school clothes or still going on our yearly camping vacation. I will probably never be able to sacrifice like Marmee did for me, but I promise that I will try and I will do my best.

          When I think about fun, I think about your Marmee. Of course, I have learned this more and more since I have gotten older. When I was younger, Standaddy was the only fun one. Then, when I became a teenager, neither one of them were fun.  Then, when I was about 20 or so, I realized how fun they BOTH are actually. Your Marmee always makes me LOL.(laugh out loud) We still continue shopping together, vacationing together, eating together(that’s our favorite). Before your Daddy and I got married, I spent MOST of my time with Marmee. I know that she will be even more fun for you than she was for me!

          When I think about support, I think about my Mama. You will never find someone who is your biggest fan. Even when you make a mistake, don’t make the team, or even gain a little weight and don’t like the way you look all of the time, Marmee is always the first one that will remind you how awesome you are. She will ALWAYS brag on your accomplishments to anyone who will listen. Whenever I meet anyone who knows my Mama, they always tell me how many good things they have heard about me, all of them being from her. In the book, The Help, Aibileen, the main character, always tells the little girl, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” Your Marmee will always tell you these exact words, but she will just use a little better grammar. J

          Finally, when I think about love, I think about your Marmee. She shows love to everyone. She loves Standaddy with a love like no other. They will ALWAYS be together when you see them, so just get ready. She loves your Daddy and me like crazy too. I don’t know what we would do without her. She loves her family, her church, and her Savior just as much too! She shows love to EVERYONE around her so it’s really hard not to show love back to her. I really can’t wait for you to get here because I can’t wait to introduce you to her and show you, not just tell you, how awesome she is and how much she is going to love you.

          Your Marmee is the reason why I celebrate Mother’s Day. Eventually, I will be able to celebrate being a mother on my own on this day, but until then, I am so, so, so excited to celebrate my Mama!

          Love,

                   Your Mama 

Happy Mother’s Day! Part 1.

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“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” -Linda Wooten

This Sunday, as we all know is Mother’s Day. This is such an important day in our country, a day when more flowers are sent than any other day, a day when so many good times are shared over a meal or at least a piece of cake, and a day when we all think about the Mother in our life. So many different types of mothers have been on my mind this week, so I thought I would share them. 

1. First and foremost, I have thought so many times and prayed for the mother of my child. Some people look at adoption as a way out. My way of thinking is that the birthmother of my child is going to have such a strong love for her child that she is going to be willing to not raise it herself. I believe that all adoptive birthmothers are completely unselfish people, that just like other mothers, they love unconditionally, even to the point that they are willing to hurt just so their child can have a life that they can’t give them. 

2. I have thought and prayed for all of those women that are longing to be mothers. Mother’s Day can be a hard time for someone who sees everyone seems to have children that call them Mama. All they want is the same. This pain can be overbearing, especially on days when Mothers are celebrated. I just want to remind all women out there that are in this place of John 16.33 that says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” Eventually, God’s plan will come to pass in your life. However, just know, I am praying for you as well. 

3. I have thought about and prayed for those Mothers who this is their first Mother’s Day or they are pregnant for the first time and will celebrate Mother’s Day with their baby still on the inside. What an awesome, exciting time in your life! I firmly believe that every Mother’s Day is special, but I really want you to enjoy this first one. After all, now, it’s all about you! (Make sure your husband remembers that!)

4. Lastly, one that has hit me hard this week are those who have lost their mother and will celebrate Mother’s day just remembering the times they had with them. I have two people especially that have been on my mind constantly because I know their day will be hard this weekend. Sometimes, life isn’t fair. Sometimes, you have the most amazing Mom in the world and you lose her. Thankfully, I haven’t had to experience this but I can only imagine the feelings you will feel. Just know, that I am praying for you too. Mother’s Day is about ALL mothers, so even if your Mom isn’t here with you physically, I KNOW that she will always be with you. I believe you will feel her with you too, so celebrate her! 

All of us have a mother in our life that deserves to be celebrated. This weekend, I ask you to do just that. Celebrate all the Moms out there, not just your mom. Also, if you think about it, just be in prayer for these different types of moms this week too. Mother’s Day is definitely a day of celebration, but there is also a lot of struggle on this day too. Just lift these up in prayer if you will this week. We all can use it! 🙂